Read this to me and I will come back to you. [entries|friends|calendar] I'm dying to explain my heart to you now. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[22 Mar 2005|05:24am] oh god. I wrote you everday for a year.

[21 Mar 2005|10:07pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | layla ] fucking 352089582039582305th entry today. i have so much time on my hands and so much time to think. it just makes me mad. and it hurts sooooo bad. and i cant help kristel and that just makes things worse. i just want to cry everything out and get it over with. i don't want these random moments. i want it to all come at once and i don't know why i'm waiting or what i'm waiting for. it's not going to happen and i just can't accept it no matter how hard i try. we're not going to talk and we're not going to be together and he's not going to make up his mind. and i don't plan on seeing him again, maybe by chance, and i had absolutely no say in any of this. i'm like fucking property. doesn't matter what happens to it as long as it's there when you need it. well, i can't be there anymore. i can't wait for people to realize they need me. i can't wait by the phone and i can't look people in the eye and tell them everything's going fine. i can't, and i won't. i can't be with someone who needs a couple of days to decide whether or not he actually plans in the FUTURE to be with me. so i guess this is goodbye, and i love you, have a nice life. this is it, you either want to be with me or you don't. no in betweens. i'm tired of saying my goodbyes over and over again so this is the last one. and that way you won't be able to make me feel bad by putting another sad smiley or something. i'll find someone else to miss me, it can't be all that hard. and i won't think of the memories like you advised me to and i won't think of the bright side. i'll just live. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[21 Mar 2005|08:27pm] JL1675: magda..i dont know you but i feel terribleeee!! cheer up you have people in nb that love you to peices! like steph, nick, danny..and people that i dont know e JL1675: *even exhists. JL1675: hangout with people that love you. that make you love. you will feel better..i promiseeee aww i found that so sweet I wrote you everday for a year.

[21 Mar 2005|06:42pm] i break in x two: i am not supposed to be the one i break in x two: running out of science i break in x two: into the bathroom crying i break in x two: i am i break in x two: worth more than that! I'M A WOMAN I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[21 Mar 2005|05:08pm] omgggg what a load of bullshit i fed to people today. i might as well have a sign on my forehead that says HURT ME, I'M VULNERABLE. shall i stay an hour or two or more don't let me let you go i love that song ^^ after saying im not going to write in this for a while i seem to not be writing a lot i just wanna get it all out i'm scared to wake up tomorrow morning or the thing in my user info will happen and it'll hurt so much. thisssss feeling sucks SO bad it feels like i wasted the past few months and had no control over them whatsover i wish i could just start over. I wrote you everday for a year.

Don't let me let you go.; [21 Mar 2005|03:31pm] [ mood | pessimistic ] [ music | Eve 6 ] omfg. i just had the worst day of school i've ever encountered. seriously. brittany walked up to me and was like "awww magda are the poems really THAT sad" thinking i was like.. crying over the poems. it was amusing at the time. lol by the end of first period i wanted to run into traffic, and then in science dylan had said something that reminded me of something else and i ended up running to the bathroom in tears. i felt oh so fourteen. i think i asked to go to the bathroom twice in each class. senora made me laugh a little. mrs omalley gave me like the "are you fucking kidding me" look when i asked to go to the bathroom in the middle of notes. i bet the teachers had, like, a conference. yeah so i guess i'm just gonna send all david's stuff back. danny and stephanie are here now and trying to look for my wallet but it's not working. nick might be coming later to save me. i dunno things are kind of blowing over, everything's just being replaced with anger now. that's okay, as long as he's happy.. if i can't make him happy then i'm sure someone else can. dylan wrote me a note in class and it made me realize i'm not someone who's going to dwell on the past, i'll move on quick and one day it'll just be like it never happened. not that that'll be easy and like i have no feelings for him anymore but...... new season new start. heh, if i was actually optimistic. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[21 Mar 2005|06:08am] [ mood | lonely ] you know, that just makes me seem like a coward. and it's a little past 6 in the morning right now. i didn't sleep but i just showered and it's SO cold. i didn't do any of my homework except for the stupid poem. this morning was so awful. so was last night but whatever. friday i was excited about going to the concert with kristel on april 8th. im sleeping over afterwards. it'll be fun. and warped tour will be fun. i guess i don't have much to say. i hung out with danny and stephanie a lot this weekend. nick too. we put my desk together. well, i dunno, i'm gonna go get dressed, pack my bag, go to school, die, photocopy the thing i have to... mail the "letter" thing. kill two birds with one stone and mail something else. and i'd really love to see you tonight. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[20 Mar 2005|09:15pm] yeah so.. this is the last entry i'll write for a very, very long time i suppose. i don't have the energy anymore. bad weekend. the end. I wrote you everday for a year.

And I'd really love to see you tonight. [17 Mar 2005|10:26pm] [ mood | annoyed ] i just got really pissed off and sad at the same time within 10 seconds. not the past 10 seconds. a taste of my own medicine, i guess. i'm just going to ignore that and still think i'm the victim here. omfg. tsdgjsdlgkjsdlgkjsdlgkslkgjsldgj. that made me really, really disappointed and angry and LSJGLSJLGKJSDJLSKJGLSDJGLSKDJGLSKJDGLSJDJSDGKJGJLSEJGLSKEJG. i haven't updated in forever. oh fucking well. failurexBYdes1gn: us euro's, we are llamas in the kitchen, but tigers in the bedroom. i break in x two: LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL * i break in x two: FUCK HIM failurexBYdes1gn: LOLOLOL failurexBYdes1gn: goodnight :-* i break in x two: FUCK YOU I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[17 Mar 2005|06:53pm] aw I wrote you everday for a year.

[03 Mar 2005|02:30pm] i keep hearing "oh, well if you need someone to talk to.." i appreciate the offers, but honestly talking just doesn't cut it this time. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[25 Feb 2005|08:40am] [ mood | scared ] they changed yahoo.com and i don't like it. skdjglkjlsdkgjdfh sdjggfjfgf fgjjjsgdfdgdsdf gffgfgfdfhgfgj jfgjfsjgj fgfjgfj i had like three/four hours of sleep. i haven't even started learning my english for thursdayyyyyyyyy :( on a better note i get to see david :) but i'll like fall asleep while he's talking to me ugh slkdjglsdjglkdsjg bb sunday night! <3 I wrote you everday for a year.

[24 Feb 2005|08:30pm] it doesn't matter what people say and it doesn't matter how long it takes believe in yourself and you'll fly. and it only matters how true you are be true to yourself and follow your heart no i won't give up no i won't break down sooner than it seems life turns around and i will be strong even if it all goes wrong when i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe someone's watching over me. I wrote you everday for a year.

[24 Feb 2005|12:54pm] failurexBYdes1gn: yeah i cant decode that failurexBYdes1gn: the fucking cia couldnt i break in x two: are you retarded i break in x two: LOL i break in x two: ARE YOU STUPID i break in x two: I GAVE YOU A HINT i break in x two: AND EVERYTHING failurexBYdes1gn: i cant figure it out failurexBYdes1gn: lololol failurexBYdes1gn: yes i know i break in x two: THINK i break in x two: THINK kristel failurexBYdes1gn: OOOHHHHH failurexBYdes1gn: OOHHH i break in x two: lololololol failurexBYdes1gn: i got it i break in x two: good girl i break in x two: go get yourself a cookie I wrote you everday for a year.

[23 Feb 2005|11:57pm] i break in x two: YES i break in x two: yes i break in x two: THANK YOU i break in x two: someone understands CA Tanya PL: lol.. of course i understand CA Tanya PL: i know you theres three on my team, counting me of course. now i'm going to go run into traffic or something. I wrote you everday for a year.

This is over when I say it's over. [23 Feb 2005|11:20pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] yeah. i'm creepy, i know. KADJFLSDJGLKSJGLKsjdg. i'm making myself angry. kristel knows why, i think. but OMG omg. i hate it. so much. but i can't do itttttttt. This is a lesson in procrastination I kill myself because I'm so frustrated. And every single second that I put it off, means another lonely night I gotta race the clock. I wrote you everday for a year.

[23 Feb 2005|11:09pm] [ mood | confused ] AHH kristel. AHHHH sdkgj.dskjg sdfhgdfjfgdjfj kcussgnileefgnignahcretni seidhdsignsrdfifehsdfh fdenhidsofhdfh dfhpiofhnsd let's see if kristel gets that one. kind of like 184092385023958lewapdfshfds :) I wrote you everday for a year.

[23 Feb 2005|01:12pm] [ mood | pissed off ] i break in x two: shes like i break in x two: kristel isnt WELL i break in x two: righjt now i break in x two: when she gets BETTER i break in x two: you can be FRIENDS failurexBYdes1gn: LOL wtffff i break in x two: i was like i break in x two: i dont like your friends either but i still have to deal with their shit WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF my mom is SUCH a bitch. I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

[23 Feb 2005|12:47pm] picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly a girl with kaleidoscope eyes cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone lucy in the sky with diamonds I wrote you everday for a year.

[22 Feb 2005|11:53pm] [ mood | happy ] woah, i just got in a really good mood. :) I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everday for a year.

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